Sunday, April 13, 2008


Are we capable of being a user? Consciously or subconsciously, I think we can be. I believe there is a thin line between dependence and using someone. Dependence sounds to be more positive than using. No one would argue that each of us has been used or been depended to by someone, whether or not he/she is a close relative or a total stranger. And it sucks sometimes isn't it?

Now what's the point in writing this? Well, I dreamt of me writing about this and I think it deserves attention and besides I have some issues to talk about. And on that note, let me tell you some of these issues.

A few months ago, I was confused and until now maybe, coz why in the hell I am writing this if not. Confused on whether I am being depended on too much, and worse am I being used. I hardly thought about these things in the past because it's in my nature to be giving and generous on whatever I can share with everyone without having to ask for any return. But when some things happen which shook your relationship with the people you cared for, then it would really make you thinka couple of times whether you're doing the right things and whether you are being abused.

I may now sound that I am invoking 'utang na loob' as we call it. But bad as it sounds, I may be, but isn't it just fair to get some fair share in what you have invested. This I think is not the proper forum for this one, and seriously, I am not asking to get any return, because I don't need any, as cocky as it sounds.

Going back to the issue, and for the purpose of an argument, isn't it that we are all users in this world? Consciously for our own selfish desires we use someone to get whatever we want in life. A deliberate act of using someone whom the latter unknowingly allows in the sense that he/she would like to believe that the user doesn't have such intention.

Dependence may come in the category of 'subconscious using'. When someone depends on someone for anything and he get used to it, isn't that the dependent uses the other? Now, who's to blame in this situation?, the dependent or the person to whom the other depends. Is tolerance a factor on whether we should consider fault on the one being depended to? I believe a lot of factors would come into the scene if we try to answer this question and I think this would be a case to case basis.

In conclusion, we are all users in this world, consciously or subconsciously. No matter how hard it is to accept, we will all be used up. The thing is, its up to us on how to handle the scenario.

It all boils down to dignity. Dignity in the sense that we should as far as practicable examine the situation. Ask ourselves, are we becoming too dependent on someone? Are we using someone for our own benefit? Consciously or subconsciously, intentional or not, it is truly undignified to continue using or depending on someone too much. It makes an inutile not only of the user but of the person being depended to as well. Inutile for the user because he doesn't anymore does things in his own volition or through his own efforts. Inutile for the one being depended to because he somewhat loses his self. In the sense that he appears to be losing something when he gives something which should not be the case, because giving entails some sacrifice of something for something good in return, tangible or not.

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