HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Today is Independence Day. A day which is supposed to be a holiday for the Filipinos but for economic purposes it was declared a regular office day. A regular scheme followed by the GMA Administration mainly not to disturb the economic activities in the country. Usually when the holiday falls on a day in the middle of a week then the Malacañang adjusts the celebration of the holiday and announces a long weekend.

I actually went to Mendiola, along with Ivan today to get the check for the funds which will be used in the freshmen orientation, since I am the finance committee head the check was named after me. I encashed it and then proceeded to Mari's house to hand it over to her for them to pay the downpayment for the food. Good thing we had a free lunch!

Anyway, talking bout independence, I have watched last Sunday in Y-Speak a segment about 'independent living'. This segment was really a slap on my face since like after college I thought of living independently from my family. But until now I am still living with them. But it's quite difficult to jump into a decision to be independent and I don't think I could cope with it right now since I am pursuing my dream of becoming a lawyer. I think I need my family,not just for the financial support they are giving me but the moral support as well. And besides I still want to support them also in their endeavors and help out in our business.

Today is the 109th Independence Day Celebration, and of course a lot of talk shits would be heard from our DEARLY BELOVED PRESIDENT, and I don't want to talk about it much less care to listen to her speech.

I think Filipinos though freed from colonialization are still slaves in our country. We are slaves of the promises of the politicians. Promises of a progressive country and a better life. We are slaves of corruption in the government, a very swift and surreptitious conqueror of every cent which we laboured for.

I hate the way our system of government works. I hate the freedom that the government officials has which they use to steal money from us. I hate the freedom that the government officials has to use power in order to curtail the justice system. I hate the freedom of those in power to steal the freedom of the Filipinos to voice out their grievances.

In my own little way, when I became a lawyer, I hope the freedom that was being abused by those in power could well be transformed into an upright freedom to give
to the people the freedom they truly deserve. The freedom to live a decent life.

Despite all of what I've said I am still proud to be a Filipino. I know we could stand up one day and be proud of country. I am positive about this, I know we could effect change!

Happy Independence Day!

MY PERSONALITY DISORDER TEST

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

Quotes from a Thesis on Life..

Two days to go and its back to law books and cases, all-nighters, humiliating recitations arggh! And so before this happens I try to finish some of the books (not law books!) I am reading during this summer break. And I'd like to share some of the insights from "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom.

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted." - THE TENSION OF OPPOSITES.

"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

"Sometimes you cannot believe what you see,you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too--even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling."

"Learn to detach. Don't cling to things because everything is impermanent. But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. You let it penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it."

"If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails."

"But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them full and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then you can say, 'All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.'"

"If you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone." -REALLY LIKE THIS ONE!

"How we think, what we value, those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone or any society detrmine those for you."

Tuesdays with Morrie E-book

Expect the Unexpected

I never thought that Donna’ s birthday would be such a great day for me. Things do happen when you least expect it.

It was wonderful that my Kanlungan friends and I got to bond again together and share laughs. Melvin was there, which was quite a surprise for me. Happee who explicitly said that she is now almost always present in Kanlungan events just after her breakup, is really an announcement that seems to give a smile on my face.

Just after singing our chosen songs in the videoke and taking pictures which is not to be missed, and the planning for our Galera getaway on the 16th, I actually initiated a birthday wish/message to Donna which other Kanlungan people did also. I even thought of capturing their messages on video.

After everyone has given their messages and wishes to Donna, it’s Donna’s turn to give her “thank you speech” which turned out into an unexpected revelation. So I turned off the video ‘cause it was really something personal for her. Everyone of us, except Happee I think, who knows the story, was in awe when we heard it. Everyone thought that Donna’s relationship is doing good. But as I’ve said expect the unexpected, I just hope she could get over her problem.

Connections..

How powerful can someone in power be? Why is it that people always try to be close with people who are at the helm of power?

Being associated or connected with people in power indirectly benefits anyone who gains such connection. Our family supported a certain political figure last elections who won. There comes a time when my parents utter some words which implies that the political figure’s success in the elections is also their success.

Initially, I actually wanted to support this political figure but then, when I have searched his performance during his term and his background I changed my mind. That’s why when I hear my relatives talking about this political figure I am dismayed because I don’t think this political figure will do a good job.

Going back to “connections”. A lot of people who support politicians who run for whatever elective position of course want a return on whatever support they have given to the politician. This also could not be set aside by the politicians as it could well be described as “utang na loob”. The system works as if there is a give-and-take relationship between the givers of support and the takers. And when the politician wins, it’s payback time. A switch of characters happens, the system of give-and-take, gives us a picture where the politician becomes a giver of benefits and the supporter becomes the taker. A clear description of bribery.

Although indirectly I may be benefited by the winning of this politician I am talking about with the business transactions that my parents or relatives which would need some backing-up from powerful people in the government, I am completely disgusted by the way politics is being used to gain the power to really manipulate the law and the appropriate system of the government.

It’s actually hard for me to keep my silence on this with my family although in my actions I could well give them a picture of my disgust with their way of thinking. But in due time I know I could let people be reminded that we should be the ones that should clean up the system that we created, the system which created the corrupt officials in the government. The corruption will only continue if we tolerate ourselves to associate with them for the purpose of gaining connections that would indirectly give us also power.

Staying..

I just enrolled myself last Monday. It’s good to see again my close friends in Law School and it’s good to hear their stories.

I also shared a little bit of what has been going on in my mind the past few weeks. The last few weeks were as confusing as always when the thought of continuing with Law School pops in my head.

I actually wanted to transfer to another school. There’s this thought that the Beda-environment is not conducive for me. I am quite bored as well with the monotonous studying. Maybe because I got used to a lot of activities during college. I actually also would like somehow to escape responsibility, because I find it hard to lead people. Maybe because it’s just hard to accept the fact that ‘leadership’ haunts me, whenever I go. Before entering Law School I set my mind that I would not accept any position as a leader of whatever group or organization. But leadership really haunts me, so I decided to succumb to it. But now, I’m glad that my buddies are helping me out. And I think it’s below the list of my reasons why I want to transfer.

As I have said with my buddies “the bond that I have created with you served as a major factor that’s why I’ve decided to continue in Beda”. And it was. I think it would be hard for me to find new friends again like these buddies I have now. It is with these friends of mine that I can be who I am.

Another thing, transferring to another school requires quite a lot of adjustments and I think it takes a lot of time to do that. Though it would depend on the school you are transferring.

Beda is not beda alone without the prestige attached to its name. Though a lot of people would say that it is still upon yourself whether you’d be successful or not, but of ten people how many of them would end up as a hotshot lawyer on his own. I would say I am giving up the opportunities that Beda caters me if I will be transferring from another school. I would waste the time and effort I exerted studying just to attain the QPI (Quality Point Index), which I could say without bragging, is far from the minimum.

I have decided to stay. And I will for as long as I could, for as long as I am happy. And for as long as I can be who I am.