Just a Product of my Brain Activity

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hay, i don't know what's happening to my tummy! It's not normal. I used to have a faster than normal metabolism, but it seems it slowed down. And I bet this is causing me stomachaches.

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I hate it when someone conceals to me that he or she has grudges on me. Why not tell it to my face? Why not show some positive signs that you have issues with me? I'm going nuts sometimes. I just hate playing games. I just hate the immaturity. I just hate thinking whether I committed something wrong against you. Yes I do hide my feelings sometimes but as much as possible I do the slightest effort though indirectly to show you I have some issues with you. I want an outright confirmation not an outright denial. I am just sick of lies. I am just sick of pleasing everyone especially those who don't even deserve it.

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Hay.. I don't know if I'm just rationalizing things too much! I just don't know when to stop sometimes. Do I forget to give myself a break? Am I being too patient on A LOT of people?

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I am a temperamental person but it subsides easily. Now, is it just right to forget whatever you have felt during the times that your temper rises?

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It's just hard or its just not right to categorize or generalize or even hate (even for a moment) people. But if you're in a situation that you felt that you are being left out or people just tend to be uncooperative with you when in fact you're doing a lot of things to them or you felt that they are being unselfish or making things out. It's just hard. Try mo!

CALAMBA DAY

April 16. Went to Calamba to visit my relatives and to my surprise it's my cousin's wife's birthday. Next thing I knew, I was having a hefty snack. And damn, I just can't resist the double dutch ice cream. Went home at around 6pm and arrived at around 7. Took a rest, watched tv before I had dinner.

I lay down on my bed again, called jenny for some burst out moment, which lasted for like an hour, ansaya ginawa ko landline ang mobile ko. Well, actually I could have texted her but because we had a deal that we wont text each other for a week and the one who can't resist it would treat the other. Now, I am not going to accept being a loser on this one haha!

Well, what have we talked about? Hmm.. It's a privileged communication man! Hehe!

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It's been quite a number of Christmas' and New Years'now that I've been trying to be happy, but maybe you'll not get it when you keep yourself confined in a situation which you yourself cannot contain and brings you to solitude. I could say that I'm a prisoner of my situation and I just don't think I could get a pardon from it, and so I might as well wait until I've served my sentence. Why? Maybe because I chose to be in this situation, I've embraced it like I don't have a choice. One thing maybe that I could consider to continue is the fact that I've always get through all the crap in my life. I just hope I won't run out of reasons to go on.

Random Thoughts and Current Updates 01

11.12.07 Sometimes you’ll be surprised that the things you never expected to happen would hit you on your face without even a warning. And all the while you just didn’t see it coming. But it’s quite a relief in a way that the things you always wish you could share to others came in handy in the most unexpected times..

> What would you feel when you are left empty-handed? What would you feel when you don’t have any idea what’s going on around you? What would you feel if the people whom you expect to be honest enough for you just turn back on you? What would you feel when you are left out? Confucius was really brilliant! Yan Kasi! Karma ka!

> Yan ang nagagawa ng umuupo sa kasumpa-sumpang first row aisle, natatanong ka ng professor mo during a no-recitation class.. Tapos ang itatanong pa sayo yung mga na-take up nyo last semester na ibang subject na kinukuha mo sa kanya ngayon. Ang saya diba? Pa-uso tuloy ang mga sagot ko! Haha!

11.13.07 It feels good when you get to share your thoughts, ideas and even your problems and your life with others.. It feels good when you know that you can trust someone..

> Iba din pala yung pride pag regular law student ka pa din and wala ka pang binabagsak.. I’m not saying that I am a brilliant student, hindi naman ako consistent na diligent student, but somehow I managed to get a slice of everything that a Law Student should have to pass..

> Swerte ba talaga ako pag nag-shuffle na ng class cards ang professor? Kasi kanina ang saya napunta sa pinakadulo ang class card ko di tuloy ako natawag sa recit! Haha! Saya!