My emotions do not make sense anymore. Grrr!! I hate to think that it's because, the major disappointment that everyone felt when our unofficial grades were released last week in WILLS, is actually sinking now. Well, Im not quite sure about it. What I am only certain is that the drive I have before the semester started, is slowly fading away. Except for WILLS, a lot of unexpected events totally destroyed my momentum. I'm talking about my relationships in and out of school. For the past few days, I've been thinking of quitting again.. I've been thinking of just escaping.. I know for myself that I have the ability to confront everything or everyone. Now, I'm hating myself because I just can't do it..
As of tonight, I am still in doubt of someone.. I always wanted to talk yet I feel that this person doesn't want to. All along I thought that everything's fine, but actions speak louder than words. It's the problem with the culture we have. A culture which doesn't like confrontations.. I'm pissed because I cannot be myself. I should watch my words and just try not to offend or cause some misunderstanding.
It's cool to have so many friends.. Yet it's hard to maintain a friendship, for things would just get in limbo without you knowing it..
Someone very close to me left me without even giving a warning.. I know, it's a choice that this person has to make and I respect that decision. But this person cannot even stand his/her ground. And being someone dear to me, I am torn. I don't know what to do. Grrrr!!! I am hyperventilating right now...
I want to help this person, yet I don't have the courage to do it. I don't even have the resources. And how can someone help one who don't even know what to do with his life?..
I feel like quitting.. I feel like sacrificing my most cherished dream, just to give way.. I know I'm almost there, but with the turn of events, maybe it's time to leave, in the meantime..
2 months ago