Iba talaga pag ang bait bait mong tao, tulad ko! haha!! Well enough about bragging, but I just can't help but open the communication lines I temporarily cut-off with someone. Well, I don't have a calloused conscience to ignore this person's text messages, but okay I must admit, at first I was into deceiving this person(sorry for the redundant subject 'this person', I just don't want to reveal if he/she is a he or she, labo ba? haha!!).. Anyway, as I was saying, I deceived this person that I don't know who he/she('he/she is better! hehe!) was and that I've lost my contacts. I even resorted to the idea that I have exchanged cellphones with someone. Pretty lame huh!? haha!
But, I was hurt by what he/she did to me, he/she was one of those people I am referring to who have betrayed me. Well better read that for a refresher! Anyways, I'm almost always like this, I just can't stand it when I find myself in somewhat a misunderstanding with someone. I just can't help myself but work things out, which is the best thing to do right?!
And besides, school is almost here again, I want to start with my mind in peace 'coz for sure this semester's going to be one 'HELL' of a Semester!!
I visited one of my friend's profile in friendster and found that we have the same chinese zodiac sign! It was my first time to have read the profile of the WATER PIG and I was quite surprise that, zodiacs sometimes are quite accurate. The attributes described below are truly in my personality! Just click the pics for a larger image!
May 29 is going to be a memorable day for me. It's the day when I'm going to bid goodbye to my closest friend way back in college who's going back to UAE and the day when I'm going to welcome the closest buddy I had so far in law school who's coming from his hometown Palawan. Pretty much a coincidence right? And here's another catch. Both of these people have been so close to me to the point that we are seen almost every moment. And the best part of it, I had a very serious misunderstanding with both of them, which really became the talk of the town, well for those close to us at least, because we hardly talk for such a long time. Well the good thing is we're okay now, I guess, though the one with my best buddy in law school is quite fresh, since it happened like a few months ago, but I'm trying to work things out.
Galing-galing talaga! It's like everything in this world is inter-connected! It's like there's a masterplan of your life!
I just feel good as of the moment. Good things do happen when you least expect it. The pursuit of nirvana I'm into is quite working! Yahoo!
Another thing, I have noticed that I maybe ready to forget everything that happened in the past which I allowed to penetrate my smooth sailing life. That sounds good right!? Well, I just hope things would run smoothly again when the school starts in a few weeks.
Have you ever experienced seeing someone everytime you go at some place, say a mall and it happens not only once but a couple of times It's a little bit weird for me, that I often see this middle-aged man when I go to the mall. From his physical attributes, I could say that he has some foreign blood.
I don't want to believe that he is stalking me, it's far from reality. Now, I am thinking that this person has got something to do with my life, and that I have to figure out. Our existence in this life has brought us a lot of mysteries we have to uncover, because sometimes these mysteries lead us to knowing more of ourselves, and somehow it brings us to a point where we have a taste of what lies ahead of us. The people we encounter are part of those mysteries and they play a role in our lives. Maybe we don't know them yet but surely when we got the chance to meet them, we would know exactly the reason why we meet them.
What do you know? I failed my Insurance Law. And guess what it was my first time to have failed a subject in school my whole life. No one's to blame but me, technically, well I'd like to put blame on someone else but it all boils down on me, though there is some contributory fault I guess that I could attribute to some people. But the thing is it could have not happened if I didn't give in to my emotions. Giving in is like giving up your chance of success. In the game called law school it's inevitable to fail a subject, but you could hasten the possibility if you will try to be tough, ignore your emotions, and just focus on the game, which I didn't. I gave in, and now I must suffer the consequences. Good thing is it's just a two-unit subject and when I checked the curriculum I still could graduate on time, but have to do this double-time now.
Ignoring your emotions and not giving a chance to let it interfere with the game is akin to the pursuit of Nirvana which I am into right now. That's for sure is a plus for me, since I wont have a hard time accepting the failure and its consequences, because somehow along the way, even before I knew it I was prepared to face it.
So no more unintelligent absences anymore! Tama muna ang petiks and read my books and study!
What would you feel when someone close to you told you that they would or wouldn't do something? If you're going to ask me I would feel betrayed. The trust he or she has earned in me diminishes.
I happen to share this thought to my a few people and asked them whether I can consider the persons involved in the category of people who don't have word of honor. They say it depends on the circumstance of the case, and yes I might agree. But when you're hurt you're somewhat blinded and honestly I do consider those persons as having no word of honor. It's like perjury in law you know?, it's a little different though because there's the element of an oath.
Anyway, thinking about those people who have made me think twice or more whether they are just fooling me really gives me a hard time giving full trust to people again. And maybe it's time that I let people tell me whatever they want to say and just have it pass like air on my ears.
For a few months now, being 'in pursuit of nirvana' I could say I had some peace, and from what transpired currently which somewhat bothered my senses, I say it's nothing and isn't gonna affect the pursuit.
Well so I was so much into this current LSS of mine, to the point that I searched for the meaning of the lyrics through some people in a forum and here are the interpretations which I liked because they aren't referring to romance or a boy-girl relationship thing:
FIRST INTERPRETATION Your subtleties, they strangle me I can't explain myself at all And all that wants and all that needs I don't want to need at all >> Your remarks and comments and just generally passive-aggressive attitude is constantly aimed at me and I can't take it anymore. I can't explain my reasons for my actions to you because you just can't understand everything in my life and in my head. And everything I want and everything I need is just confusing me and I don't even know what it is I'm looking for.. I want to be self-sufficient, I don't want to need anything or anyone else.
A falling star, at least I fall alone I can't explain what you can't explain You're finding things that you didn't know I look at you with such disdain >>I feel like I'm just failing, drowning in all these thoughts and ideas. I can't explain it all to you, just let me go through it alone. You're learning things about me you never knew and things I didn't want you to know.
The walls are breathing, my mind's unweaving Maybe it's best you left me alone A weight is lifted on this evening, I give the final blow When darkness turns to light, It ends tonight Just a little insight won't make this right It's too late to fight, It ends tonight, it ends tonight >>Everything is just building up and my mind can't take it anymore.. it's too much. Just leave me alone and let me sort it all out. If I can think things through then afterwards I'll be free from this burden and I can forget about it. A little analysis of my "problem" from you won't help.. after tonight I will be done with this, I can leave these struggles behind me. I've been fighting this for too long, it's over.
SECOND INTERPRETATION well, as people were mentioning, it wasn't really written as a breakup song. Tyson Ritter (aka 'lead singer') was rooming with their old guitar tech Tooker. It was during when they were recording and they were staying in a crappy hotel, and Tooker was making him depressed, so it was basically a song about 'smothering him in his sleep'. During a behind the scenes interview on the set of the music video, when Tyson was asked what it was really about, he was actually taken aback by the question. I think that the real meaning is what it is, but every person will look at it differently. This was the one song though, that I'm pretty sure they were not looking at as a breakup, thus the video with the fireworks.
i know for me, it really clicks with having problems with friends. i have had a good deal of problems with friends, and this song always kind of makes me think of what is running through my head during those periods.
THIRD INTERPRETATION It's not about a relationship or anything.....it's about depression...Tyson said that when I saw them in concert last July. I actually read in a interview that he (Meaning Tyson, the lead singer) wrote this song about a former room mate of his who did nothing but eat,work,and sleep. like he didnt have any time to just have fun....
It's about, hate and anger & revenge. Someone wronged him and he needs to clear the air, but not with words, it's too late for that, too complex(I can't explain myself at all) ...(When darkness turns to light) - means by the time the realization of what he's about to do to this person hits them, he will have already sought his revenge...as in punched their lights out as in the line (I'll give the final blow). I have felt anger like this towards someone so the lyrics were ones I could relate too. There isn't enough romantic relationship type lyrics/references in these lyrics to be about a girlfriend/boyfriend break up. The lyrics are at too many points calculated and conclusive...they are said with too much trepidation to be explicitly about romance gone wrong.
I think the guy's been keeping lots of thoughts and feelings from this person who's been giving him a hard time. Finally, he's furious and sees the light. He's had enough and decides everything he's been bearing so far has to end right there and then, so he spills everything he's been keeping back. Great burden's been lifted, although he doesn't like what he's doing or he can't really control himself. When the person tries to understand what's going on, its like its too little too late, although he feels it wasn't really the person's fault for not knowing any of it. anyway, it sounds like something that could happen between any two people who are close..
FOURTH INTERPRETATION I think it's a friendship thing.
The relationship was pretty good until something happens. The friend keeps things to his or herself and it's driving that person crazy. But this person doesn't even know what the problem is. "i can't explain myself at all".
When the friend is finally getting to know this person more, he is drifted away by the things he finds out. The person is disappointed because of the fact that when they got closer, the friendship actually begins to lose its spark.
He realizes that he takes the blame for everything that his friend does wrong -- and that the friendship is one-sided. Everything that he's been keeping away from his friend, it's finally time to let it all out no matter who it hurts and no matter the consequences.
The person is beginning to realize that it's better now that he's alone, and it's time to move on. Before, he didn't think he would be able to move on from his friend but now everything is finally "ending tonight."
That's just my take on it, because I can sorta relate and it's all I can think about when listening to the song.
Your subtleties They strangle me I can't explain myself at all. And all that wants And all that needs All I don't want to need at all.
The walls start breathing My minds unweaving Maybe it's best you leave me alone. A weight is lifted On this evening I give the final blow.
When darkness turns to light, It ends tonight It ends tonight.
A falling star Least I fall alone. I can't explain what you can't explain. Your finding things that you didn't know I look at you with such disdain
The walls start breathing My minds unweaving Maybe it's best you leave me alone. A weight is lifted On this evening I give the final blow.
When darkness turns to light It ends tonight, It ends tonight. Just a little insight will make this right It's too late to fight It ends tonight, It ends tonight.
Now I'm on my own side It's better than being on your side It's my fault when your blind It's better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside Now you're the first to know
When darkness turns to light It ends tonight, It ends tonight. Just a little insight will make this right It's too late to fight It ends tonight, It ends tonight.
May 17-18, 2008. Laiya, San Juan Batangas.. This experience I've shared with my Kanlungan Family is I guess the best summer experience this 2008. The planning was a little bit hard but I was happy we were able to push through with it. Sayang naman ang uwi ni JR from UAE if there wouldn't be any major event together with his Kanlungan Family, though it actually was triple treat, it was a late celebration too of me and Cha. I felt bad when some weren't able to come, but I'd feel really bad when the whole thing won't push through, kasi naman biglang may dumating na bagyo sa Pinas, good thing it headed to the north.
The early schedule of our departure was delayed for some unexpected circumstances but nothing could stop us from continuing the event. The travel to Lipa City was a bit fast, where we are going to meet Happee and head to San Juan Market to meet JR. When we arrived at San Juan Market, Cha, Lem and I bought the ingredients and supplies we need for our food. We had snack at a nearby 'turo-turo' and then head to Laiya afterwards.
Anyway, the experience was a little different than the previous outing we had. Though we assigned Madj to think of activities we never had any, aside from the fact that she wasn't able to think of any. :) But it still was a great experience, and I could say that just being together, sharing food, the long chit-chats, drinking beer and grilling someone in the hotseat, asking for "issue-provoking-and-secret-revealing questions", videoke and doing just about anything under the sun and under one cottage is a whole lot fun.
I pride myself when I was the only one who caught the sunrise. Walking in the shore and sitting on the sand while waiting for the sun to rise gave me a peaceful and magical feeling. The silence and beauty of the shore and the water as the sunlight shines on it is truly a magnificent grandeur!
Whatelse? Hmmm.. I don't want to talk about this but, okay, there are some unexpected annoyances and little problems along the way, but it's up to us to allow it to spoil the event, which we didn't!
Well, the good thing about Laiya is that you just can't have enough and surely we are coming back in 2009 to open our 'test tubes'!!
As promised there would be a part two of the filmfestival! So here are the films I've watched since part 1, and I guess there won't be a part 3, coz I think I had enough and its time that I read my books! hehe!!
39. K-Pax- 3.5 Stars 40. Goodfellas- 3 Stars 41. The Count of Monte Cristo- 3.5 Stars 42. Stock, Lock and two smoking barrels- 2 Stars 43. The thin red line- 3.5 Stars 44. Blades of Glory- 2 Stars 45. Presumed Innocent- 3 Stars 46. The Recruit- 3 Stars 47. The Bucket List- 3.5 Stars 48. Epic Movie- 1 Star 49. Insomnia- 3.5 Stars 50. Donnie Brasco- 3 Stars 51. Scarface- 4 Stars 52. To kill a mocking bird- 3.5 Stars 53. Being John Malkovich- 3 Stars 54. The Departed- 3 Stars 55. Kurt Cobain: About a Son- 3.5 Stars 56. The Rainmaker- 4 Stars 57. Heat- 3 Stars 58. The Bourne Identity- 4.5 Stars 59. The Bourne Supremacy- 4.5 Stars 60. The Bourne Ultimatum- 4.5 Stars 62. Rain Man- 4 Stars 63. Red Dragon- 4 Stars 64. The Graduate- 3.5 Stars 65. Iron Man- 3 Stars 66. The Kite Runner- 3 Stars 67. The Great Debaters- 3 Stars 68. Street Kings- 2.5 Stars 69. Forbidden Kingdom- 2.5 Stars 70. Forrest Gump- 5 Stars 71. What Happens in Vegas- 2.5 Stars 72. 21- 3 Stars
Everybody lies, and I don’t think if I have mastered it. Basically whenever I get myself into some circumstance that I have to lie I could say that I could do it quite flawlessly.
Everybody hurts, but as they say time heals all wounds. And maybe I could say that I am tough enough to endure the pain caused by those wounds. I appear as strong as I am though I am crippled inside. But I just can’t ignore the fact that it has left me a scar, a scar which gives me a hard time to forget
How can someone forget the pain, when everytime a thought comes in your mind, it makes you wonder it has to happen and ruin a part of you. How can someone forget the pain, when a picture of the memories of the past come lingering on your mind.
Yes, I’ve lied a couple of times that everything is alright. But I think it’s just the way it is. Sometimes you lie just to ease the pain momentarily and move on a little bit. The straightforward me, is contradicting the liar in me. I don’t know if it is despicable, but right now, it’s the only way out for me to move on and start anew.
May 12, 2008. Today, I was scheduled to meet up with Jay-R who just came back from UAE. I had to go early from our home so I brought with me my Civil Procedure book and read a couple of pages at Seattle's while waiting for Jay-R. When he arrived we decided to have lunch first. I accompany him to stroll around and shop. It was a little bit tiring for me, since I just had less than two hours of sleep and I my muscles are still in pain after a very tiring hike and trek to Pagsanjan Falls last Saturday. But it was fun. I enjoyed talking and listening to him about his experiences at UAE. When Madj arrived we accompanied her to have dinner and then we had coffee at Starbucks right after. At Starbucks, I was like into a spell, I was just listening to Madj and Jay-R's conversation, well if I only have a pillow I could have slept instantly!
Meeting Jay-R was great! I can't believe nothing changed in him, physically and everything else. Well I'm looking forward to more chitchats on our outing this coming weekend!
I'm quite surprised why I dreamt of Michael Mann. Actually as far as I recall from my dream, there was Al Pacino (who actually was Michael Mann in my dream) and another woman, whom I don’t know. A woman with curls and a blonde.
I've checked on the net who Michael Mann is and Ive found out that he was a critically acclaimed director. I've watched some of his movies and some of it were starred by Al Pacino.
Well maybe I dreamt of him because of my addiction with Pacino films. I don’t want to sound like I'm into unsolving some mystery, but it’s a little bit stranger to dream of a person whom I don’t really know and yet I’ve identified and really do exist.
By the way, his works include the following: The Inside and Heat, where Pacino both starred Aviator, Collateral, Miami Vice and Kingdom
May 10, 2008. With Nil, Mari, Ivan and Kara. Saya-saya mag-hike, trekking, rappelling going to the famous Pagsanjan Falls in Laguna. Though I grew up in Laguna, it was my first time to be there! The hike was tiring but it was fulfilling naman when you've finished the trek. Sarap mabasa sa ilalim ng Pagsanjan Falls!, the best yung feeling, lalo na pag tumatama yung splash of waters and yung mist sa mukha mo! Relaxing! We had a sidetrip din sa Liliw Laguna which is famous for their footwears! It's like 2 hours ata yung travel time namin but it was worth it! Here are the pics!!
I've admired Kurt Cobain since highschool. The words through the lyrics he writes struck me, maybe because it is truly the unconventional which I always try to be. His lyrics are sometimes vague and always capable of different meanings.
The suicide of Kurt Cobain shocked almost everyone(well which some still thought isn't really a suicide but a foul-play). I've read somewhere that he's even dubbed as the John Lennon of his time after his death. But discounting that, I truly am in deep sorrow upon knowing his story. His broken family, his life under a bridge, his cocaine addiction, his fucked-up relationship with Courtney and a lot of things. Well maybe the fact that he has a fucked-up life and still continued living it up though for a while made me admire him more.
Maybe Kurt's death is a dream come true for him, because somehow he has attain the state of nirvana. Complete peace!
THE SUICIDE NOTE
Here's a tribute video of him
Here's a biography of him: Kurt Cobain was born to Donald and Wendy Cobain on February 20, 1967 in Aberdeen, Washington and spent his first six months living in the village of Hoquiam, Washington before the family moved to Aberdeen.He began developing an interest in music early in his life. According to his Aunt Mari, "He was singing from the time he was two. He would sing Beatles songs like 'Hey Jude'. He had a lot of charisma from a very young age."
Cobain's life changed at the age of seven when his parents divorced in 1975, an event which he later cited as having a profound impact on his life. His mother noted that his personality changed dramatically, with Cobain becoming more withdrawn.In a 1993 interview, Cobain said, "I remember feeling ashamed, for some reason. I was ashamed of my parents. I couldn't face some of my friends at school anymore, because I desperately wanted to have the classic, you know, typical family. Mother, father. I wanted that security, so I resented my parents for quite a few years because of that."After a year spent living with his mother following the divorce, Cobain moved to Montesano, Washington to live with his father, but after a few years his youthful rebellion became too overwhelming and he found himself being shuffled between friends and family.
At school, Cobain took little interest in sports. At his father's insistence, Cobain joined the junior high wrestling team. While he was good at it, he despised it. Later, his father signed him up for a local baseball league, where Cobain would intentionally strike out to avoid having to play.Instead, Cobain focused on his art courses. He often drew during classes, including objects associated with human anatomy. Cobain was friends with a gay student at his school, sometimes suffering bullying at the hands of homophobic students. That friendship led some to believe that he himself was gay. In one of his personal journals, Cobain wrote, "I am not gay, although I wish I were, just to piss off homophobes."In a 1993 interview with The Advocate, Cobain claimed that he used to spray paint "God is Gay" on pickup trucks around Aberdeen. Cobain also claimed he was arrested in 1985 for spray-painting "HOMO SEX RULES" on a bank.However, Aberdeen police records show that the phrase for which he was arrested was actually "Ain't got no how watchamacallit".As a teenager growing up in small-town Washington, Cobain eventually found escape through the thriving Pacific Northwest punk scene, going to punk rock shows in Seattle. Eventually, Cobain began frequenting the practice space of fellow Montesano musicians the Melvins.
In the middle of tenth grade, Cobain moved back to live with his mother in Aberdeen. Two weeks before his graduation, Cobain dropped out of high school after realizing that he did not have enough credits to graduate. His mother gave him a choice: either get a job or leave. After a week or so, Cobain found his clothes and other belongings packed away in boxes.Forced out of his mother's home, Cobain often stayed at friends' houses and sneaked into his mother's basement occasionally.Cobain later claimed that when he could not find anywhere else to stay, he lived under a bridge over the Wishkah River,an experience that inspired the Nevermind track "Something in the Way". However, Krist Novoselic claimed that Cobain never really lived there, saying, "He hung out there, but you couldn't live on those muddy banks, with the tides coming up and down. That was his own revisionism."
In late 1986, Cobain moved into the first house he lived in alone and paid his rent by working at a coastal resort twenty miles from Aberdeen.At the same time, Cobain was traveling more frequently to Olympia, Washington to check out rock shows.During his visits to Olympia, Cobain started a relationship with Tracy Marander.
Marriage
Courtney Love first saw Cobain perform in 1989 at a show in Portland, Oregon; the pair talked briefly after the show and Love developed a crush on him.According to journalist Everett True, the pair were formally introduced at an L7/Butthole Surfers concert in Los Angeles in May 1991. In the weeks that followed, after learning from Dave Grohl that she and Cobain shared mutual crushes, Love began pursuing Cobain. After a few weeks of on-again, off-again courtship in the fall of 1991, the two found themselves together on a regular basis, often bonding through drug use.
Around the time of Nirvana's 1992 performance on Saturday Night Live, Love discovered that she was pregnant with Cobain's child. A few days after the conclusion of Nirvana's Pacific Rim tour, on Monday, February 24, 1992, Cobain married Love on Waikiki Beach, Hawaii. "In the last couple months I've gotten engaged and my attitude has changed drastically," Cobain said in an interview with Sassy magazine. "I can't believe how much happier I am. At times I even forget that I'm in a band, I'm so blinded by love. I know that sounds embarrassing, but it's true. I could give up the band right now. It doesn't matter, but I'm under contract."On August 18, the couple's daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, was born. The unusual middle name was given to her because Cobain thought she looked like a kidney bean on the first sonogram he saw of her. Her namesake is Frances McKee of British band The Vaselines and not Frances Farmer as is sometimes reported.
Love was somewhat unpopular with Nirvana fans; her harshest critics said she was merely using him as a vehicle to make herself famous.Critics who compared Cobain to John Lennon were also fond of comparing Love to Yoko Ono. Rumors persist that Cobain wrote most of the songs on the breakthrough album Live Through This of Love's band Hole, partially fueled by the 1996 appearance of a rough mix of "Asking for It" with Cobain singing backing vocals. However, there is no specific evidence to support the assertion.
Cobain's final weeks and death
Following a tour stop at Terminal Eins in Munich, Germany, on March 1, 1994, Cobain was diagnosed with bronchitis and severe laryngitis. He flew to Rome the next day for medical treatment, and was joined there by his wife on March 3. The next morning, Love awoke to find that Cobain had overdosed on a combination of champagne and Rohypnol (Love had a prescription for Rohypnol filled after arriving in Rome). Cobain was immediately rushed to the hospital, and spent the rest of the day unconscious. After five days in the hospital, Cobain was released and returned to Seattle.Love later stated that the incident was Cobain's first suicide attempt.
On March 18, Love phoned police to inform them that Cobain was suicidal and had locked himself in a room with a gun. Police arrived and confiscated several guns and a bottle of pills from Cobain, who insisted that he was not suicidal and had locked himself in the room to hide from Love. When questioned by police, Love admitted that Cobain had never mentioned that he was suicidal and that she had not seen him with a gun.
Love arranged an intervention concerning Cobain's drug use that took place on March 25. The ten people involved included musician friends, record company executives, and one of Cobain's closest friends, Dylan Carlson. Former Nirvana manager Danny Goldberg described Cobain as being "extremely reluctant" and that he "denied that he was doing anything self-destructive." However, by the end of the day, Cobain had agreed to undergo a detox program. Cobain arrived at the Exodus Recovery Center in Los Angeles, California, on March 30. The following night, Cobain walked outside to have a cigarette, then climbed over a six-foot-high fence to leave the facility. He took a taxi to Los Angeles Airport and flew back to Seattle. Over the course of April 2 and April 3, Cobain was spotted in various locations around Seattle, but most of his friends and family were unaware of his whereabouts. On April 3, Love contacted a private investigator, Tom Grant, and hired him to find Cobain.
On April 8, 1994, Cobain's body was discovered in the spare room above the garage at his Lake Washington home by Veca Electric employee Gary Smith. Smith arrived at the house that morning to install security lighting and saw him lying inside. Apart from a minor amount of blood coming out of Cobain's ear, Smith reported seeing no visible signs of trauma, and initially believed that Cobain was asleep. Smith found what he thought might be a suicide note with a pen stuck through it beneath an overturned flowerpot. A shotgun, purchased for Cobain by Dylan Carlson, was found resting on Cobain's chest. Cobain's death certificate stated that his death was a result of a "contact perforating shotgun wound to the head," and concluded his death a suicide. The report estimated Cobain to have died on April 5, 1994.
On April 10, a public vigil was held for Cobain at a park at Seattle Center which drew approximately seven thousand mourners.Prerecorded messages by Krist Novoselic and Courtney Love were played at the memorial. Love read portions of Cobain's suicide note to the crowd and broke down, crying and chastising Cobain. Near the end of the vigil Love arrived at the park and distributed some of Cobain's clothing to those who still remained.Cobain's body was cremated.
KURT COBAIN: ABOUT A SON TRAILER
An intimate and moving meditation on the late musician and artist Kurt Cobain, based on more than 25 hours of previously unheard audio taped interviews conducted with Cobain by noted music journalist Michael Azerrad for his book "Come As You Are: The Story of Nirvana." In the flm, Kurt Cobain recounts his own life - from his childhood and adolescence to his days of musical discovery and later dealings with explosive fame - and others often-piercing insights into his life, music, and times. The conversations with Cobain have never before been made public and reveal a highly personal portrait of an artist much discussed but never truly understood.
I've watched the movie waking life and it is one brilliant movie sure to inspire everyone. it is actually an animated film and i think whether you like animated films or not, you can't ignore the movie from the very first scene. The movie's plot centers on the dream of a student, which dream is characterized by a series of meeting chance or otherwise with other people whose intelligent and thought-provoking words made him realize a lot of things in life. Waking life truly would make you wake up on a lot of things about life and realize that good things in life come to those who wake up.
Here's a plot summary from Jeff Mellinger {jmell@uclink4.berkeley.edu}
Dreams. What are they? An escape from reality or reality itself? Waking Life follows the dreams of one man and his attempt to find and discern the absolute difference between waking life and the dreamworld. While trying to figure out a way to wake up, he runs into many people on his way; some of which offer one sentence asides on life, others delving deeply into existential questions and life's mysteries. We become the main character. It becomes our dream and our questions being asked and answered. Can we control our dreams? What are they telling us about life? About death? About ourselves and where we come from and where we are going? The film does not answer all these for us. Instead, it inspires us to ask the questions and find the answers ourselves.
Kainis!, I can't seem to focus on the thing I'm doing. When I am bound to do something, I easily get distracted by a thought and then entertain it and prioritize it over the other. It's a cycle, once a thought comes in, I just cant restrain myself from entertaining it. Maybe it has something to do with me being inclined to do absolutely anything, sort of that 'jack of all trades master of none' charatcer. I don't think if this is good but I know there are disadvantages.
Long time ago I've decided not to meddle with my parent's businesses. I told myself that I would stand on my own, that's why I do have a hard time working with a group. It's just a common thing also for me that I always give my hand to anyone. It's not in my bones to be dependent on someone.
I even rarely ask for favors to my parent's and never request for expensive things. It's not about pride, it's just that I feel and think it's just not right. At my age, I should be working but instead I opted to enter law school, so I should be more concerned with my tuition fee rather some luxury.
Now, when I've watched Godfather, the character of Michael Corleone struck me. He portrays the youngest son of Don Vito, who happens to be indifferent wih respect to the mafia business of the latter. But in the end, with the death of his elder brother Sonny he took over the mafia business. I believe there's a certain touch of Michael Corleone in each one of us, usually when we are in our early adult life. The time when we are creating our own name and image and trying to be dependent.
I don't know whether I could live with my ideals when the time comes that my parent's retire. I don't know if I could stand up on my philosophies. But right now, I'm firm with my decision not to meddle with my parent's businesses.
I believe, somehow I am like Michael Corleone but I don't know whether I would be totally like him as what he have portrayed throughout the movie. But who knows circumstances might change the course of things.
I am wondering whether it would be good for me to join a new group. It even occurred to me that it might be good for me if I join a fraternity. There are some people in school which I admire in the sense that they exude a very strong, unique, and cool personality. Despite the fact that a lot of people get irritated with them still there's something in them which attracts me. I don't know, but I somewhat agree in one of the laws in 48 laws of power which says that you should be more close to your enemies. It gives us an idea that your friends are more dangerous and have the greater tendency to stab you at the back. A logical reason for this is the fact that your feud with your enemies is quite in the wide open and from the moment the feud arose you have managed to master the retaliation measures and the way you're going to be on the look out all the time. This is not so with respect to your friends, because all along you have somewhat invested in them trust which has all the possibilities of being too dangerous in the end.
There are some things which lead me to this line of thinking, but right now, the time is way too far to make a decision, moreso if I am in a state of confusion as a product of my idleness..
By the way here's Rule 2 from 48 Laws of Power the one I'm talking about:
Law 2 Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies
Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.
I don't know exactly if its paranoia or it's caused by the idleness that I have to deal with during my break from law school. Either way, it is causing me sleepless nights and confusion. Everytime that I have a break from law school it always makes me think on the possibility of taking a leave of absence from law school. The possibility that I could have a job and earn. I don't know.. I'm confused again.
I've been a huge fan of Al Pacino since like my childhood days, even if I barely know him. I was thrilled by his movies back then without even knowing who he was. But anyone would be, because he truly is one magnificent and brilliant actor! Now here's a quick biography of him from imdb.com:
Date of Birth 25 April 1940, New York, New York, USA
Birth Name Alfredo James Pacino
Nickname Sonny
One of the greatest actors in all of film history, Al Pacino established himself during one of film's greatest decades, the 70s, and has become an enduring and iconic figure in the world of American movies. Born on April 25th, 1940 in the South Bronx, New York, Pacino's parents (Salvatore and Rose) divorced when he was young. His mother moved them into his grandparents' house. Pacino found himself often repeating the plots and voices of characters who he had seen in the movies, one of his favorite activities. Bored and unmotivated in school, the young Al Pacino found a haven in school plays, and his interest soon blossomed into a full-time career. Starting on the stage, Pacino went through a lengthy period of depression and poverty, sometimes having to borrow bus fare to make it to auditions. He made it into the prestigious Actors Studio in 1966, studying under the legendary acting coach Lee Strasberg, creator of the Method Approach that would become the trademark of many 70s era actors. Making appearances in various plays, Pacino finally hit it big with "The Indian Wants the Bronx", winning an Obie award for the 1966-67 season. Gaining notoriety on the theater scene, Pacino then won the Tony Award for "Does the Tiger Wear a Necktie?". His first feature films made little departure from the gritty realistic stage performances that earned him respect: he played a junkie in The Panic in Needle Park (1971) after his film debut in Me, Natalie (1969). What came next would change his life forever. The part of Michael Corleone in The Godfather (1972) was one of the most sought- after roles in film history. Robert Redford, Warren Beatty, Jack Nicholson, 'Ryan O'Neal (I)', Robert De Niro, and a host of others were bandied about for the role, but director Francis Ford Coppola had his heart set on the unknown Italian Pacino. From the studio, to the producers, to the cast on down, nobody else wanted Al Pacino. Though Coppola won out through slick persuasion, Pacino was in constant fear of being fired and replaced at any minute during the hellish shoot. But the role was a career- making hit, and earned him his first Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor. Instead of taking on easier projects for money, Pacino threw his support behind tough important films, such as the true life crime drama Serpico (1973) and the tragic real life bank robbery film Dog Day Afternoon (1975). Pacino opened eyes around the film world for his brave choice of roles; and he was nominated three consecutive years for the "Best Actor" Academy Award. He faltered slightly with Bobby Deerfield (1977), but regained his stride with the law film _...And Justice for All (1979)_, for which he received another Academy Award nomination for Best Actor. This would unfortunately signal one of the only bad points in his career, one that produced the flops Cruising (1980) and Author! Author! (1982). He took on another vicious gangster role and cemented his legendary status in the ultra-violent Scarface (1983), but a monumental mistake was about to follow. Revolution (1985) endured an endless and seemingly cursed shoot in which equipment was destroyed, weather was terrible, and Pacino became terribly ill with pneumonia. Constant changes in the script also further derailed an already terrible project. The Revolutionary War film is considered one of the worst films ever, gained Pacino his first truly awful reviews, and kept him out of movies for the next four years. Returning to the stage, Pacino has done much to give back and contribute to the theatre, which he considers his first love. He directed a film _Local Stigmatic, The (1989)_ but it remains unreleased to the public. His self-imposed exile lifted, he returned in striking form in Sea of Love (1989) as a hard-drinking cop. The film marks the second phase of Pacino's career, the first film to feature his now famous dark, owl eyes and hoarse, gravelly voice. Making a return to the Corleones, he made The Godfather: Part III (1990), and earned raves for his first comedic role in the colorful Dick Tracy (1990). This earned him another Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor, and, two years later, he was nominated for Glengarry Glen Ross (1992). He went into romantic mode for Frankie and Johnny (1991). In 1992, he finally won the Academy Award for Best Actor for his amazing performance in Scent of a Woman (1992). A mix of technical perfection (he plays a blind man) and charisma, the role was tailor-made for him, and remains a classic. The next few years would see Pacino becoming more comfortable with acting and movies as a business, turning out great roles in great films with more frequency and less of the demanding personal involvement of his wilder days. Carlito's Way (1993) proved another gangster classic, as did the epic crime drama Heat (1995) directed by Michael Mann. He returned to the director's chair for the highly acclaimed and quirky Shakespeare adaptation Looking for Richard (1996). City Hall (1996), Donnie Brasco (1997), and The Devil's Advocate (1997) all came out in this period. Reteaming with Mann and then Oliver Stone, he gave two commanding performances in The Insider (1999) and Any Given Sunday (1999). In his personal life, Pacino is one of Hollywood's most enduring and notorious bachelors, having never been married. He has a daughter, Julie Marie, with acting teacher Jan Tarrant, and a new set of twins with long-time girlfriend Beverly D'Angelo. His romantic history includes a long-time romance with Godfather co-star Diane Keaton. With his intense and gritty performances, Pacino was an original in the acting profession. His Method approach would become the process of many actors throughout time, and his unbeatable number of classic roles has already made him a legend among film buffs and all aspiring actors and directors. His commitment to acting as a profession and his constant screen dominance has established him as one of movies' legends.
Trivia
October 1997: Ranked #4 in Empire (UK) magazine's "The Top 100 Movie Stars of All Time" list.
January 1961: Was arrested, charged with carrying a concealed weapon.
Son of Sal Pacino (insurance agent) and Rose Pacino (she died when Al was 22).
He has a daughter, named Julie Marie (b. 1989), with acting teacher Jan Tarrant.
Dropped out of school at the age of 17.
Turned down the role of Ted Kramer in Kramer vs. Kramer (1979).
Turned down Born on the Fourth of July (1989).
Turned down Apocalypse Now (1979).
Turned down the role of Han Solo in Star Wars (1977).
Turned down Pretty Woman (1990).
Turned down Crimson Tide (1995).
Originally asked for $7 million for The Godfather: Part III (1990), a figure that so enraged director Francis Ford Coppola that he threatened to write a new script that opened with Michael Corleone's funeral. Pacino settled for $5 million.
Father of twins Anton and Olivia (b. 25 January 2001), with Beverly D'Angelo.
His grandparents originate from Corleone, Sicily.
Was frequently refered to as "that midget Pacino" by producers of The Godfather (1972) who didn't want him for the part of Michael Corleone.
Francis Ford Coppola asked Pacino to play Captain Willard in his film Apocalypse Now (1979). Pacino politely turned down the offer, saying he'd "do anything" for Francis but he "woudn't go to war with him!"
1994: Stopped a two-pack-a-day smoking habit to protect his voice. In the mid-1980s he had been smoking four packs of cigarettes a day. He now only occasionally smokes herbal cigarettes.
Al was so much into character (playing a plain-clothes NYC cop) while filming Serpico (1973) he actually pulled over and threatened to arrest a truck driver for exhaust pollution.
Is an avid fan of opera.
Once worked as an usher at Carnegie Hall.
Larry King considers Pacino's appearance on his show "Larry King Live" (1985) in November 1996 as one of his personal all-time favorite interviews.
2002: His salary was around $10 million a picture.
One of the few Hollywood stars who has never married.
Despite the fact that he starred in "The Resistable Rise of Arturo Ui" for Off- Broadway scale pay (the minimum salary allowed by Actor's Equity), the production had the highest ticket price in Off-Broadway history at $100 per ticket.
He is one of the eleven elite thespians to have been nominated for both a Supporting and Lead Acting Academy Award in the same year. The other ten are Barry Fitzgerald Fay Bainter, Teresa Wright, Jessica Lange, Sigourney Weaver, Emma Thompson, Holly Hunter, Julianne Moore, Jamie Foxx and Cate Blanchett. Pacino was the second male actor, after Fitzgerald, to have been nominated for both a Best Supporting Actor and a Best Actor Oscar in the same year; the third is Foxx, who was nominated for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor in 2005.
Won two Tony Awards: in 1969 as Best Supporting or Featured Actor (Dramatic) for "Does a Tiger Wear a Necktie?" and in 1977 as Best. Actor (Play) for "The Basic Training of Pavlo Hummel."
Won his first Oscar twenty-one years after his first nomination.
He and Chris Sarandon improvised their scene on the phone in the film Dog Day Afternoon (1975).
Studied acting under his friend Charlie Laughton.
He is an avid William Shakespeare fan.
Was voted the Number 1 greatest movie star of all time in a Channel 4 (UK) poll.
For a short while, he was the only actor to be in the #1 Best and Worst Movie on IMDb: The Godfather (1972) and Gigli (2003).
In a "Playboy" magazine interview, he claimed that he was fired from his job as a movie theater usher while walking down the staircase and admiring himself in the mirrored wall.
He was voted the 41st Greatest Movie Star of all time by Entertainment Weekly.
Portrayed crime bosses in The Godfather Trilogy, Scarface (1983) and Dick Tracy (1990).
In 2004 he became the 18th performer to win the Triple Crown of Acting. Oscar: Best Actor, Scent of a Woman (1992); Tony: Best Supporting Actor-Play "Does a Tiger Wear a Necktie?: (1969) and Best Actor-Play "The Basic Training of Pavlo Hummel" (1977); and Emmy: Best Actor-Miniseries/Movie, "Angels in America" (2003).
Read for Chazz Palminteri's part in The Usual Suspects (1995). Source: Director Bryan Singer, "Pursuing The Usual Suspects" documentary from UK DVD.
He was rejected repeatedly by studio heads while auditioning for the role of Michael in The Godfather (1972) but Francis Ford Coppola fought for him. This film was shot briskly because both the director and the leading actor were in constant fear of being fired. Ironically, it turned out to be a breakthrough for both.
He is the stepson of actress and make-up artist Katherin Kovin-Pacino.
He has four sisters: Josette, a teacher, twins Roberta and Paula, and a younger sister named Desiree, whom Pacino's father adopted whilst married to his fourth wife.
2001: Recipient of the Cecil B. DeMille Award from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for his "outstanding contribution to the entertainment field".
Won the Best Actor Obie (awarded for the best Off-Broadway performances) for "The Indian Wants The Bronx" in 1968. Was also nominated for a Best Actor Obie for "Why Is A Crooked Letter" in 1966.
His performance in the Broadway play "Does a Tiger Wear a Necktie?" won him a Tony Award for Best Dramatic Supporting Actor, and a Drama Desk Award and Theatre World Award for Best Supporting Actor in 1969.
Turned down the lead role of Roy Neary in Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
While Paramount brass dithered over whether to cast him as Michael Corleone in The Godfather (1972), the role that would make him a star, a frustrated Pacino signed up for the role of Mario Trantino in The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight (1971). When Paramount finally decided to offer him the role in "The Godfather", it had to buy him out of his contract with MGM. Ironically, the role went to Robert De Niro, whom The Godfather: Part II (1974) would make a star.
His favorite actress is Julie Christie.
He and Jamie Foxx are two out of the only three actors to be nominated for an Academy Award for both Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor in the same year. (Barry Fitzgerald did it first in 1945) Pacino was nominated in 1993 for Scent of a Woman (1992) and Glengarry Glen Ross (1992) / Foxx in 2005 for Ray (2004/I) and Collateral (2004). Both men won the Best Actor award, and they both played blind men in their roles: Pacino as Frank Slade and Foxx as Ray Charles.
2005: Premiere Magazine ranked him as #37 on a list of the Greatest Movie Stars of All Time in their Stars in Our Constellation feature.
Grew up in the South Bronx, New York City
Attended The High School of the Performing Arts until he dropped out.
Was John Schlesinger's original pick for Marathon Man (1976) but producer Robert Evans insisted that Schlesinger cast Dustin Hoffman instead.
Has a production company called Chal Productions. The "Ch" is in tribute his friend "Charlie Laughton" (not the actor Charles Laughton) while the "Al" is for himself.
Worked in the mail room of Commentary magazine.
Shares a birthday with Talia Shire, his co-star in The Godfather films.
His favorite color is black
Breifly worked as a stand-up comic early in his career
Early in his acting career, he considered changing his name to "Sonny Scott" to avoid being typecast by his Italian name. "Sonny" was his childhood nickname.
Alec Baldwin, who co-starred with Pacino in Glengarry Glen Ross (1992) and Looking for Richard (1996), wrote a 65-page final thesis on Pacino and method acting for his degree at NYU.
Had been friends with John Cazale since they were teenagers. They starred together in Dog Day Afternoon (1975), The Godfather: Part II (1974) and The Godfather (1972).
He is only one of four actors to be nominated for an Oscar twice for playing the same role in two separate films. He was nominated as for The Godfather (1972) and The Godfather: Part II (1974). The others are Paul Newman as Fast Eddie Felson in The Hustler (1961) and The Color of Money (1986), Bing Crosby as Father O'Malley in Going My Way (1944) and The Bells of St. Mary's (1945), Peter O'Toole as Henry II in Becket (1964) and The Lion in Winter (1968) and Cate Blanchett as Elizabeth I in Elizabeth (1998) and Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007).
During the making of The Recruit (2003), he met and became close friends with Colin Farrell. He went on to call Farrell the most talented actor of his generation.
Turned down the role of Richard Sherman for a remake of The Seven Year Itch (1955) which was never filmed.
Turned down role as Michael Corleone in the Godfather videogame.
2006: His performance as Sonny Wortzik in Dog Day Afternoon (1975) is ranked #4 on Premiere Magazine's 100 Greatest Performances of All Time.
2006: His performance as Michael Corleone in The Godfather: Part II (1974) is ranked #20 on Premiere Magazine's 100 Greatest Performances of All Time.
His performance as Tony Montana in Scarface (1983) is ranked #74 on Premiere Magazine's 100 Greatest Movie Characters of All Time.
His performance as "Michael Corleone" in The Godfather: Part II (1974) is ranked #11 on the American Film Institute's 100 Heroes & Villains.
His performance as Frank Serpico in Serpico (1973) is ranked #40 on the American Film Institute's 100 Heroes & Villains.
Was director Bryan Singer's first choice for the role of "Dave Kujan" in The Usual Suspects (1995). Pacino passed on the role and has since stated that that is the role he regrets passing on the most.
10/16/97: Imprinted his hands and signature in cement at Grauman's Chinese Theatre.
Stated in an interview that the movie he most wanted to be in but couldn't get the role was Slap Shot (1977). Director George Roy Hill opted not to go with Pacino because he could not ice skate.
Revealed to James Lipton on "Inside the Actors Studio" (1994) for the first time ever that his father was born in Corleone, Sicily.
1970-75: Lived with Jill Clayburgh.
At one point, David Cronenberg was in line to direct the film The Singing Detective (2003), with Pacino in the lead.
6/7/07: Honored with the American Film Institute's Lifetime Achievement Award.
Over the end credits of A Cock and Bull Story (2005) the two stars, Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon compete at doing Pacino impressions.
Oscar-winning director John Schlesinger envisioned a cast of Pacino, Julie Christie and Laurence Olivier for Marathon Man (1976). Pacino has said that the only actress he had ever wanted to work with was Christie, who he claimed was "the most poetic of actresses." Producer Robert Evans, who disparaged the vertically challenged Pacino as "The Midget" when Francis Ford Coppola wanted him for The Godfather (1972) and had thought of firing him during the early shooting of the now-classic film, vetoed Pacino for the lead. Instead, Evans insisted on the casting of the even shorter Dustin Hoffman! On her part, Christie -- who was notoriously finicky about accepting parts, even in prestigious, sure-fire material -- turned down the female lead, which was then taken by Marthe Keller (who, ironically, became Pacino's lover after co-starring with him in Bobby Deerfield (1977)). Of his dream cast, Schlesinger only got Olivier, who was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar. Pacino has yet to co-star with Christie.
Has suffered from chronic insomnia.
His Oscar nomination for The Godfather (1972) marked his first of 4 consecutive nominations, a feat he shares with Jennifer Jones (1943-46), Thelma Ritter (1950-53), Marlon Brando (1951-54) and Elizabeth Taylor (1957-60).
Personal Quotes
The problem with me is, I guess, the way I express myself, you have to be with me 50 years before you can get a sense of what I'm talking about.
I can't say I've been sober though. I don't like that word. What does it mean? 'Sober! He's very sober'.
There are times when I have a temperament. Yes, my temperament is there ... but I hope I'm gentle. Yes, I think I am.
When I try to explain anything I always end up trying to be right usually, but not truthful necessarily. Trying to give the right answer or what I think is the right answer. It's a human instinct. You try to be as clever as you can be. You're trying to come off like you really know what the hell's going on, when you don't!
I'm single and I don't particularly like it. I'm certainly the kind of person who prefers ... it ... it ... It's good to have someone in your life that you're going through this thing with. It's good. That's a thing in life that I aspire to.
I like what Norman Mailer said about alcohol: 'Drink has killed a lot of my brain cells and I think I would have been a better writer without it, but it would be one less way to relax.'
Did you know I started out as a stand-up comic? People don't believe me when I tell them.
[on whether acting and his roles reflected who he is] In the end you're just playing a role.
I'll tell you something. And this is a fact. When I was doing Scarface (1983), I remember being in love at that time. One of the few times in my life. And I was so glad it was at that time. I would come home and she would tell me about her life that day and all her problems and I remember saying to her, 'Look, you really got me through this picture', because I would shed everything when I came home.
That's right! That's right! We know the best feeling in the world is the one between the second and third martini. That was my deal. I just enjoyed who I became when I was drinking, so that was something hard to break. I became much quieter, and funny. I must say, that kind of thing came out.
I hope the perception is that I'm an actor, I never intended to be a movie star.
I'm constantly striving to break through to something new. You try to maintain a neutral approach to your work, and not be too hard on yourself.
I guess you find yourself repeating certain motifs. But at the heart of it all, I'm an actor, always looking for a role. And then you try to make things fresh.
People always said that time, the '70s, was about pretty boys, and then I came along!
One hopes to find out about the [movie] you're in while you're doing it, not several years later, which is usually when I find out. I'm like, 'Wow, that was a dud! I didn't know, nobody would tell me!' I've done things for certain reasons, but it [comes from] thinking on your feet... Sometimes actors do things not because we have a great desire [for it], but because it's work, and I'm starting to wonder about that.
But I was just lucky. People like [Francis Ford Coppola] were making films, and I got opportunities.
[quoted by Robert Osborne in "Academy Awards 1974 Oscar Annual"] I couldn't exist just doing films. But on the other hand, there is the fame that comes with it, and the money. My problem is I still want to play Hamlet in some little theater somewhere, and time is running out.
[Presenting the Lifetime of Achievement Award to director Sidney Lumet at the 2005 Academy Awards] As an old village poet put it to me in the 1960s. [If you dig it, it's yours]. I dug Sidney Lumet back then. I dig him now because what he had to give, I took and made it mine. I'm forever grateful along with all the other actors and writers who have benefited from Sidney's genius.
[on his friend and Heat (1995) co-star Robert De Niro] We know each other's minds. We have shared some things that are personal to us, such as our roles. I know Bobby through his roles. But, then, I don't think we actually talked about the actual work of actors.
[on his friend and Heat (1995) co-star Robert De Niro] I remember seeing things that Bob had done in the past, and very recent times, and have been taken with the work so much that I even wrote [him] about it. Some of his great work -- which is plenty -- I was staggered by the subtlety of his portrayal and the warmth, which is what we often talk about with Bob among us actors who admire him so. It is the warmth and the way he approaches things.
[on doing Scarecrow (1973) with Gene Hackman] Gene and I are two people not very similar. We had to play a very close relationship, but I just didn't think we were as connected as we should have been. We seemed apart. We didn't have altercations, we didn't hate each other. But we didn't communicate, didn't think in the same terms. Gene and I were thrown together, but under ordinary circumstances we'd never cavort or be friends. It was two worlds - but I have to say that I was as much responsible as he was.
[On whether or not acting is still challenging for him] The challenge? It's always a challenge of a sort. It's a challenge to get up and go and leave your family and go out there in all different parts of the world and do a picture and try to make it come alive . . . You're still challenged for that. I mean, it's the same story. It's just not changed. It seems to be the same thing it always was. It's this effort. If you get excited about a thing then things are generally a little easier. If you get enthusiastic and you want to do something and you feel you are into something then things start to come. But usually to find the enthusiasm and the appetite, that's the challenge.
[On why his film Chinese Coffee (2000) has yet to be released] 'Coffee' is done, I got a couple of little important things to do about it, like little tiny things, and THEN I will unveil it. It's not a movie that you put in a . . . it needs a certain environment to flourish in. It's just the way it is. It doesn't make it better or worse than the picture. It's just the way it is, the nature of it.
I've always believed, I always hoped . . . I don't think I know what I'm saying when I say this, but I was hoping that we could have a museum where we had films. That there was a museum where films were, like, hung. Like paintings. And you went to the museum. I got the movie The Local Stigmatic (1990) that I made. It's 52 minutes and everybody has seen it now because I've personally got them in to see it, to show it to them and I paid them for it, too. But it's over at the Museum of Modern Art and I love saying . . . This is really pretentious of me, this is what I really like. I love to say: 'Oh, it's at the Museum of Modern Art. Isn't that great?' 'Have you released it?' 'No, I never did.' I love saying that, you know? 'How come?' 'Because I didn't feel like it.' It's fun to do that.
The actor becomes an emotional athlete. The process is painful -- my personal life suffers.
"You know what the problem with that film is? The real problem? Nobody wants to see Michael have retribution and feel guilty. That's not who he is. In the other scripts, in Michael's mind he is avenging his family and saving them. Michael never thinks of himself as a gangster - not as a child, not while he is one and not afterward. That is not the image he has of himself. He's not a part of the GoodFellas thing. Michael has this code; he lives by something that makes audiences respond. But once he goes away from that and starts crying over coffins, making confessions and feeling remorse, it isn't right. I applaud Francis Coppola for trying to get to that, but Michael is so frozen in that image. There is in him a deep feeling of having betrayed his mother by killing his brother. That was a mistake. And we are ruled by these mistakes in life as time goes on. He was wrong. Like in Scarface when Tony kills Manny - that is wrong, and he pays for it. And in his way, Michael pays for it." - On _Godfather: Part III, The (1990)_
My first language was shy. It's only by having been thrust into the limelight that I have learned to cope with my shyness.
I don't understand the hatred and fear of gays and bisexuals and lesbians...it's a concept I honestly cannot grasp. To me, it's not who you love...a man, a woman, what have you...it's the fact THAT you love. That is all that truly matters.
[When asked what romantic character he would want to be] [Pablo Picasso]. I love the idea that he used to just sit and stare at an empty canvas for as long as 12 hours straight. If you keep staring at the canvas, the hope is that something or someone will come to mind. That's a romantic notion in itself.
[When asked what a movie of his life would be called and who would play him] It would be called 'The Dustin Hoffman Story'. When we were starting out, [Robert De Niro], me and Hoffman were always sort of mixed up. People mistook us for each other.
In America most everybody who's Italian is half Italian. Except me. I'm all Italian. I'm mostly Sicilian, and I have a little bit of Neapolitan in me. You get your full dose with me.
[on The Godfather: Part III (1990)] You know what the problem with that film is? The real problem? Nobody wants to see Michael have retribution and feel guilty. That's not who he is. In the other scripts, in Michael's mind he is avenging his family and saving them. Michael never thinks of himself as a gangster - not as a child, not while he is one and not afterward. That is not the image he has of himself. He's not a part of the Goodfellas (1990) thing. Michael has this code; he lives by something that makes audiences respond. But once he goes away from that and starts crying over coffins, making confessions and feeling remorse, it isn't right. I applaud [Francis Ford Coppola] for trying to get to that, but Michael is so frozen in that image. There is in him a deep feeling of having betrayed his mother by killing his brother. That was a mistake. And we are ruled by these mistakes in life as time goes on. He was wrong. Like in Scarface (1983) when Tony kills Manny - that is wrong, and he pays for it. And in his way, Michael pays for it.
My dad was in the army. World War II. He got his college education from the army. After World War II he became an insurance salesman. Really, I didn't know my dad very well.
Here are some of the videos of his moving speeches in his movies I found in youtube:
Since the start of the semestral break I've decided to watch a couple of movies which I happened to miss, but guess what? instead of just watching those recent movies shown in the theatres last year I found myself downloading, renting and even buying the original copy of some classic and not-so-old movies, and stucked my ass off my seat and just watch the whole day. Now I'd like to have a run down of the movies so far I've watched,as of May 03, 2008. Some of these movies, I decided to watch again, either because I so damn love the movie or I was just plain lazy during the first time I watch it and didn't pay attention to it that much, so I forgot the plot, haha! I'll be updating this as soon as I've watched the other movies left on my 'unwatched list'. By the way, I've decided to give stars to the movies so that you'll have an idea if it's cool to watch the movie. 'Five stars' is the highest, 1 star the lowest.
1. Silence of the Lambs- 4.5 Stars 2. Pulp Fiction- 2.5 Stars 3. Stranger than fiction- 3 Stars 4. A few good men- 2.5 Stars 5. The Godfather trilogy- 5 Stars 6. Freedom Writers- 3 Stars 7. Cinderella Man- 2.5 Stars 8. Philadelphia- 2.5 Stars 9. Definitely Maybe- 1 Star 10. 88 Minutes- 3 Stars 11. American Psycho- 3.5 Stars 12. Hannibal Rising- 3 Stars 13. Proof- 2.5 Stars 14. The U.S. vs. John Lennon- 4.5 Stars 15. 1408- 2.5 Stars 16. Citizen Kane- 3.5 Stars 17. Anne Frank- 2.5 Stars 18. The Pianist- 4.5 Stars 19. The Greyzone- 2.5 Stars 20. Requiem for a dream- 3.5 Stars 21. Half-baked- 1 Star 22. The Thomas Crown Affair- 4 Stars 23. Waking Life- 4.5 Stars 24. Smokin' Aces- 2 Stars 25. Wicker Park- 2 Stars 26. Scent of a woman- 3 Stars 27. The Laramie Project- 3 Stars 28. The Shawshank Redemption- 5 Stars 29. Pretty Woman- 3.5 Stars 30. Blackhawk Down- 3 Stars 31. 300- 4 Stars 32. Gladiator- 4 Stars 33. Braveheart- 4 Stars 34. Lions for Lambs- 2.5 Stars 35. Flags of our fathers- 3 Stars 36. The Patriot- 3.5 Stars 37. Edward Scissorhands- 2.5 Stars 38. The Talented Mr. Ripley- 3.5 Stars
Today is my day. The day of my birth. I thought this would be an ordinary day for me, since I was sick last night, well up to now. But some good things happen in the most unexpected circumstance and places. I never planned for a celebration on the day of my birthday, not until my mom texted me that we're going to have dinner. Mari texted me earlier and asked for my plans for the day, I was a bit suspicious that she has a plan to surprise me. When I arrived at Congo Grille West Gate in Alabang, Nil texted me and asked where am I. Upon knowing that she and Mari is at Festival Mall, I invite them over at Congo Grille. Thanks to Mari for inviting along also Ivan, Kara and Dos. We had a hefty dinner, had a couple of bottles of beer (though I had a couple of bottles already, since I can't say no for the policemen invited by my mom.). We went to starbucks Madrigal right after and chat for awhile.
Thanks to these guys who despite my reluctance to throw a party with appeared and shared with me one of the best nights in my life.
So it's my 25th birthday, and I'm surely STAYING ALIVE!
Well the funny thing is, I'm sick as of the moment! So the question now, is how am I supposed to enjoy my day later. Hope the paracetamol I took awhile ago would make me feel better later.
Now that I am officially a quarter of a century old, I think it's cool to reminisce the past, but I won't do it right now, 'coz I can't depend on my creative mind right now.
Being 25 for me is a new beginning, based from my previous posts, I think you know that the year that had passed is truly a one hell of a roller coaster ride. But look at me now, I've survived it. 25 for me is meaningless without my family, my Kanlungan Family who have always been there for me despite the odds. The families that I cherish more than anything else in this world. I know I have a lot of shortcomings, but as I've said 25 is a new beginning for me and I'm sure I'll do some catching-up.
Being 25 for me is a fresh start too for my career. The realizations I had months ago after all the problems and revelations I've encountered are my weapons towards being more focused in my career. (I hope so!!)
25 is such a big number to reckon with! May the force be with me!
