I ended up with a query on my previous entry on whether there really is 'injustice in lawschool'. Answering this from my observation and from my own experience, I would say that there really is Injustice in Law School.
Finding out that a lot of students in a certain subject failed and considering that these students are not those who, I can say are delinquents and are very much at par with others, one would really ask why they would fail the subject. I agree with the fact that a law student is not a master of every course that law school has to offer and thus it is not an assurance that one would pass a subject if he passed the other. But I believe that this fact would only hold true if there would be transparency in the grading system of the school. And I think the students concerned were not afforded such right to it.
Basic in constitutional law is the right to due process of every person. This is an enshrined right granted by the fundamental law of the land. The right which prohibits deprivation of life, liberty and property due process of law. Without thinking about the notion of 'being grade conscious', one would say that one's grade in every subject in law school is a law student's measure of survival. It is one's property right. It is not only one's property right, but as well as one's life, in that such property is inevitable for a law student's existence in law school. These rights must likewise be protected in such a way that justice must prevail. Justice as characterized by the labor law maxim of: "a fair day's pay for a fair day's work.", or similarly the popular bible verse in book of Matthew: "Give To each his due".
Despite these observation I have in lawschool, I am certain that if the people who think that they have the power to overturn justice, Someone out there has the supreme power to tilt the scales of justice in its right position. And as advocate of Buddhism, Karma lies ahead..
And so I failed again for the second time in one of my subjects, Law on Intellectual property that is. I got 69! . Isn't that something I should be ashamed of!? Like insurance, I was somewhat expecting it, since I incurred a lot of absences, and I was SO DAMN LUCKY to get called in the recitation in one of those absences!
I felt bad when I got the news that I failed in a minor subject, AGAIN!, who wouldn't? I was not really surprised since I conditioned myself on all the possibilities, good or bad. But I am not ready to accept the fact that there was no break down of the grades. There was not even the slightest mark of transparency. One would ask how our grades were computed? What was the basis/es of our grades, when we didn't even know the results of the midterm nor the final exams?
Someone told me to ask a reconsideration of my grade. But I think I would just create another injustice when there are others who failed whose grades are above mine and are just behind a few percentage to pass.
So, as of the last count I already have 2 back subjects with an equivalent of 4 units. Well, I can still finish law school in 4 years, since I can overload a maximum of 6 units, but damn, it will be a hassle for me since there would be some conflict in my schedule if ever I would take those back subjects in the fourth year.
As I always say, which is so much a cliche, there are reasons why things happen.. And I know for sure that there are reasons if ever I wouldn't be able to graduate in four years time. And I am very much willing to accept it.
Now, just a thought.. Does injustice start in Law School? Well for me, it does..
I never expected to get into another drama again. Well you really can't avoid it, and the best you can do is not to let it be a mental burden to you. I just realized that you can really get involved in an issue even if you are not doing anything related to it.
I am perfectly certain that I and a fellow friend of mine have nothing to do with the issue I am talking about. But we are wondering why the hell is wrong with those people who are treating us as if we don't exist. That is just unfair. What is worst is that when you want to settle things their the ones who drift away and ignore your efforts.
So I told myself that I don't want drama anymore, but what if you just can't get away with it? I always tend not to care with everything happening especially family matters. But sometimes not caring breaks my heart into pieces.
It's been a long time promise. A long time goal for me. I know it's almost on its way of coming into reality, yet I am torn by recent occurrences. I don't know whether these occurrences are signs. Signs that this isn't the right time.
Whether sign or not,I still feel bad. Feel a lot of regrets right now. Finding out the occurrences I said, makes me feel weak and somewhat feel I should have done more. I should have straightened things up a long time ago.
I know I made a choice, and I'm quite having a hard time with the choice I made, because it pains me when I know some people are struggling when I made that choice.
Wednesday. October 29. It was enrollment day. Medyo nakakainis kasi late ako dumating to get the schedule so, nasarahan ako ng magandang schedule. I was a little but irritated kasi wala man lang kumuha ng number sakin para naman nakaabot din ako sa magandang sked, but I just rationalize things and realized that as an advocate of justice, eh, to be fair with those who woke up early and went to school even before the enrollment starts eh I should really give way. And I must suffer the consequences.
And so as I've said to my closest classmates, that weighing the schedules of the two sections we chose from, I could say that there are advantages naman choosing the section we're we enrolled at. Isa pa, I actually thought about the night before the enrollment of taking tax 2 with Prof. Acosta rather than Caban. It would be more advantageous I think for me in the BAR.
Anyway, bat ganun kaya? ang awkward pa din namin ni Mike. I want to talk to him, but finding out that he failed Civil Procedure and automatic 5 years na sya sa law school, I kind of hesitated. Knowing him, I know it really is painful for him. I don't know what really happened to him, but the results of the midterms exams is really sort of a bird's eye view na of what's going to be the result of our final grades with Dean Jara. During these times, I want to be a friend to him, well I am naman. But I want to at least comfort him, and let him feel that I am here. May pinagsamahan din naman kami, which unfortunately medyo nasira. Anyway, I know there's a reason for his failure and he'll soon be grateful when he finds it in the end.
As scheduled, the interview for the prospective college scholars of ours was conducted also last wednesday afternoon. So ayun, we have to choose from the initial four students. I was shocked nung nagstart na kami and 3 of the four students cried during the interview when they are telling their family background and other things about them. I was a little bit rude I know, when I grinned once in a while, but I really felt whatever they are dealing with.
Nakakalungkot isipin na may mga tulad pala nila na kahit na naghihikahos sa buhay eh, gusto talagang makatapos ng pag-aaral. Yung iba kasi sa kanila, wala ng pamilya at nag-woworking student. Naisip ko nalang napakaswerte ko pa din talaga, na nakakapagaral ako. These students really inspired me more. These students taught me to value everything I have right now. I want to thank these people. They have somehow, strengthened the passion I have to continually support the advocacy for change. The passion of helping the needy when I became a lawyer.
I asked someone on a date. We've known each other like for almost two years now. Met her in a video shop. Nasa ugali ko na siguro to get attracted with someone, the first time you meet them and you have this feeling na this one's a good catch. So after a few visits at the video shop, medyo pa-cute and all the stuffs a guy does to catch someone's attention, from the tolerable to the lamest! Anyway, ayun, I can brag that I really caught her attention naman. I asked my friend to call their shop and ask for her number haha! Well, as far as I remember binigay naman nya. So during my next visit in their store, ayun medyo feel ko kinain ako ng lupa sa hiya kasi naman, kakaiba tumingin yung ibang staffs and alam ko they know already who I am and the lamest move I just did to get her attention!
We had the chance to eat together, so, I can say we had a date naman, kahit na ang cheap ng place and with some company. But I don't know what happened, parang biglang nawala yung interest ko sa kanya, I don't know.
But we managed to keep the communication lines open. Text-text, pero hanggang dun lang. Not until after almost two years, I've somehow realized that maybe I should try to continue whatever I've started way way back!
Iba yung na-fefeel ko ngayon eh, I don't know, maybe I've matured na din, or should I say I have moved on?! harhar! But Law school really is my number one enemy that's why I am holding back my feelings, to anyone. Ang hirap eh, plus the fact that I am uncertain whether I am really ready to commit to someone. One can say, that there's no harm in trying, but I don't want to risk a relationship anymore. I don't want to hurt someone. I don't want to put burden again on someone.
But this I could say, I am more than willing to enter into a relationship right now than before!
As the song goes, "Now I'm ready this time, I know that I'm no longer undecided.."
Somewhere, lost in the wind I'm watching you Sunlight touching your hair And I remember Somehow, we said that we would never stray But somehow we lost our way Promises too often spoken Are easily broken apart
I'm ready this time I know that I'm no longer undecided Don't wanna be A fool wondering what might have been
Trace of forever lingering Drawing me closer to you A new beginning Now I know There is no doubt I understand Just how fragile love can be I can't forget Your mem'ry found me Now I know where I belong
I'm ready this time I know that I'm no longer undecided Don't wanna be a fool wondering What might have been Through every day, into the night With only love to guide us I'm ready to go, coz I've got to know What might have been Let the lovin' decide, I can't run, I can't hide
I want you to know My heart will show that I'm ready this time I know that I'm no longer undecided Don't wanna be, a fool wondering what might have been I've searched everywhere, and nothing compares When we've got love to guide us I'm ready to go, coz I wanna know what might have been I'm wondering what might have been We're gonna find what might have been Oh I wanna know what might have been
