EHEADS REUNION CONCERT: THE FINAL SET

Waahhh! I can't believe there's going to be a Part 2 of the Eraserheads Reunion Concert! The Final Set of the Concert cut-short last August 30, 2008 which I unfortunately missed, will be held on March 7, 2009! No definite venue yet, the only thing I am certain is that I'm going to be there!!!

25th Hour

Being an Edward Norton fan, I don't get bored watching his films over and over again. His awesome portrayal of his character which is usually a disturbed and maligned one, full of remorse and anger gives me goosebumps! Aside from my all time faves Fight Club and American History X, the movie 25th hour is something one should not miss! You got to watch the ending! It was brilliant! Here's a synopsis from imdb.com

Monty Brogan is about to start his last day of freedom before turning himself into the authorities and serving a seven-year term for drug dealing. He's a charming young man who had always dreamed of being a fireman, following in the working-class footsteps of his father, who has had to put up his bar in Queens as bond so that his son can stay out of jail until his sentence begins. Monty, named for Montgomery Clift, does not know how he managed to get himself into this predicament. It was easy money and it carried so many perks, and you'll feel more than a little sympathy for this young man who has managed to kill his own dream for courtside seats at Madison Square Garden. But before he goes to prison, Monty wants to have one last night out on the town with his two best friends. Frank Slattery is a bond trader, one of the best and most successful risk takers in a very risky business. The other is Jakob Elinsky, an English teacher who envies his friends' lifestyles but who has no intention of ever giving up his job for the easy money, despite the disillusionment of teaching high school students in a tough school. The three young men enjoy the night into the early morning as they eat, drink, and visit the hottest spots in town. It's a sad night for Monty, but he has a plan that neither Frank nor Jacob know about--and it makes for a shocking ending to this brilliant and disturbing story.

A quote from the movie: This life was so close to never happening.

Edward Norton's Fuck Monologue

Damn this monologue is awesome! This is from Norton's movie 25th Hour! Edward Norton's really the best!!



Here's the transcript!
Monty: Yeah, fuck you, too.
Monty's Reflection: Fuck me? Fuck you! Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it.
Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back.
Fuck squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job!
Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores and stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. Slow the fuck down!
Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35.
Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English?
Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from!
Fuck the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds!
Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for fucking life! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Imclone! Adelphia! Worldcom!
Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, because they make the Puerto Ricans look good.
Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, and their St. Anthony medallions. Swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos.
Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermés scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart!
Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on!
Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust!
Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin Otisville, Jay!
Fuck Osama bin Laden, al-Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal, Irish ass!
Fuck Jacob Elinski, whining malcontent.
Fuck Francis Xavier Slaughtery, my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass.
Fuck Naturel Rivera. I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back. Sold me up the river. Fucking bitch.
Fuck my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar. Sipping on club soda, selling whiskey to firemen and cheering the Bronx Bombers.
Fuck this whole city and everyone in it. From the row houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue. From the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to fuckin ash then let the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place.
Monty: No. No, fuck you, Montgomery Brogan. You had it all and then you threw it away, you dumb fuck!

ROCKIN' 2009

2009 NA!! and to welcome the new year and for a change na rin I am into changing the way I write my entries here. Parang the past year kasi medyo emo yung theme ng mga entries ko. I'll try as much as possible na gawin ma-kwela tong blog na to, like the way I write when I was just starting to blog in my friendster account.

Now for starters, I want to talk about the year that passed.

Start tayo ng First Quarter. As far as I can remember, I celebrated the new year with my family. Medyo ok naman, I get the chance na magpapaputok, medyo masaya kasi bago pa lang din kami dun sa house namin sa Hillsborough. Very laid-back and happy-go-lucky ako nung January of last year. Antindi kong magbulakbol! Araw-araw ata ako nanonood ng sine! Siguro ngayon ko lang aaminin to, tapos na naman e. Oo! Tama ka! Apektado ako sa nangyari samin ng isang kaibigan. Wala sa ugali ko ang umatras sa isang away o gulo. Wala din sa ugali ko yung talikuran ang isang confrontation, pero wala din sa ugali ko na ibaliwala ang isang pagkakakaibigan. And although Ive said this a couple of times in my previous entries, I would never ignore the things and favors one person does to me, no matter how little its value may appear to others.

Kung magkakaron siguro ng analogy yung situation ko nung first quarter of 2008, I think swak na swak na sa word na "sabog". As in sabog used sa mga nalalasing or sabog sa drugs! Pati mga exams ko sobrang sabog. Kung magsagot ako ng mga exams ko parang survery lang sinasagutan ko. Yung alloted time na 1 1/2 hours or 2 hours wala pa ata sa kalahati na-coconsume ko.

That time of the year, hinihintay ko na lang talagang magbakasyon, para at least in the meantime makalimot sa panget na mga nangyari sa school.

Pero that quarter naman is not without happy moments. I get the chance to meet up a couple of times with my college friends who have always been there for me. Since si Danilo is leaving for Australia, madalas kami magmeet along with others para gumimik. We had pa nga a despedida party and double birthday celeb nila Olga and Happee. Kahit na exam week pa yun hindi ko pinalampas yun! The best kasi talaga kasama tong mga to eh! And before pa talaga umalis si Danilo, that was February, nag badminton pa kami sa Calamba and had the chance to visit pa our Alma Mater!

Second quarter Bakasyon na!! It means dami na ko time to watch mga shows sa tv na namiss ko. Dami ko na din time to watch yung mga inaabangan kong movies. Madami na din time to gimik! Pero teka wala pala ako allowance! Nyak! Good thing, a classmate during college called me asking me if I am available for a job. They need assistance kasi in their company to reconstruct some accounting books! haha!! Ok to! Magkakapera ako! It turned out good naman! Hindi naman masyadong mahirap yung pinagawa nila sakin, medyo kakatamad lang,since I really don't like accounting works. How ironic!? Haha! Kasi naman too late ko na narealize that I should have not taken Accounting! Sana any Liberal Arts course nalang nagenjoy sana ako! hehe!!

And so came my birthday. Ang saya saya! May sakit ako! Haha!! Puro puyat kasi ginagawa ko eh, magdownload ba naman ng mga movies over the net and watch like 3 movies! Marathon kung marathon haha!! Unexpectedly, nagkaron ako ng bday blowout with some close friends haha!! And ang masaya nito my mom's friend gave me money as a gift! Diba? Tiba-tiba na naman ako! Ang masama lang nito, parang ang bilis talaga sakin ng pera. Hilig ko kasi mamili ng damit! Haha!! Kaya medyo konti lang din gimik ko nung summer.

Pagsanjan with some lawschool friends is great! The best ang rappelling! Although hindi ako ready talaga sa Falls, sugod pa din ako! Ayun para tuloy ako basang sisiw! Haha!!

Si JR, umuwi from UAE, kaya syempre di mawawala ang outing ng barkada! San pa e di sa Laiya! Even after Laiya, nasundan pa ng ilang meet-ups with JR and others na within the north lang nagstay. Nakakatuwa kasi simpleng kwentuhan lang inaabot na kami ng ilang oras. Hanggang sa one time nga, naki-overnight na kami ni JR kila Lemuel haha!! Before JR left, nag meet pa kami sa Megamall tapos Greenhills! Shopping na naman to! Dami ko talagang pera no? Haha!!

Hanggang sa dumating na yung June,Waahh! Enrollment na!! Hanggang sa nagstart na yung classes.. Since masyado akong lax last semester e di nagsipag-sipagan na ko. Medyo maaga na ko ulit pumapasok. Hanggang sa feel ko lang matulog ng mahabang oras lagi kaya ayun, medyo late na din pumasok. This is the time that I get the chance to get close with other groups. Syempre unang una na dyan si Laids! hehe!!

Third Quarter Sobrang toxic maging third year yun ang masasabi ko. Pero I must say, dalawa lang talaga ang subject mo pag third year and Wills and Civ Pro yun! And kahit na anung klaseng aral gawin ko, bwiset pa din. Bagsak pa din! Lalo na yang pesteng Wills na yan! haha!

Isa sa mga highlights nitong quarter na to is, that a lot of things na naiisip kong mangyayari eh nangyari. I found out last August something which is very personal for me to divulge.

Natutuwa ako kasi this time of the year was a lot of new beginnings din for me. New friendships were built. But some relationships were either ended or shaken. Yung iba pa nga medyo damaged na talaga. But that's the way it is, if you can't fixed it, then might as well put it on trash. Ganito lang kasi yan kung hindi na uubra diba kahit naung pilit mo? Bat magaksaya ka pa ng time fixing something which is remotely possible to be fixed. Lalo na pag hindi ka naman talaga willing i-fixed?!

Naipit pa ko minsan. Yun lang naipit ako..
Naging handicapped din ako.. Blind, deaf and dumb!
Kung sino man nagsabing 'no man is an island' I summon you magpakita ka sakin ngayon. Kasi once I felt one, I mean I felt like an island. Minsan pa parang gusto ko nga talagang maging island sa mga nangyayari.
Eto ang the best, naging tanga din ako!

Nasangkot pa ako sa isang crime na hindi naman ako involved! False accusation! Malicious Prosecution! Pero mukhang hindi ako kaya ng adversary! Mukhang mahina ang evidence, hindi man lang prima facie. Ayun, inurong ang demanda! haha!!

Yung fourth quarter.. Ayun, nailabas na yung grades, natuwa naman ako at naipasa ko yung mga subjects.. Medyo bumabalik na sa katinuan yung mga tao.. Hanggang sa ilabas yung grades sa Wills! haha!! Anyway ayoko ng pagusapan kasi bagsak ako! mwahaha!! Let's just leave it at that!

Wala akong makwento nitong fourth quarter, all that I can remember aside from the pimple outbreak I had and still have is sobrang naging major entertainer ako ng mga xmas parties sa lawschool. And sobrang hindi ako makapaniwala na ginawa ko ang mga pinaggagawa ko during those times! Haha!! Medyo nasira yung image ko ata haha!!

Alam ko sobrang daming magbabago sa sarili ko this 2009. Sobrang nagiiba pala talaga perspectives mo sa buhay with all the experiences, maganda man or hindi pati na sa mga tao na dumadating at nakikilala mo. Kinaya ko naman yung 2008 eh, well I know 2009's going to be tougher, sana kayanin pa!!

MGA AABANGAN SA 2009
1. Kanlungan Opening of DREAMS TEST-TUBE after five years sa Balai, Laiya Batangas- MAY 2009
2. Fourth Year- Can I really graduate on time? Option kaya talaga na lumipat ako ng law school? Ipasa ko kaya lahat ng subjects ko this sem?
3. My 26th Birthday!
4. Matuloy na kaya ang pag move-out ko ng house?
5. Maging 'IN A RELATIONSHIP' na kaya ako? Wahaha!!

HAPPY 2009 ulit! ROCK AND ROLL!

A XMAS DAY WALK-OUT

Christmas Day. Even before I got up and fixed myself, I can sense that a war has just broke out. All the while I thought there’s going to be a ceasefire, but it occurred to me that, this is a “no retreat no surrender” feat. And so I decided to walk-out..

Literally, I walked my way out of the war and continue walking wherever my feet take me.. Good thing the weather’s good! The breeze of the air is so calming! (Nakikisama sakin! Haha!)

I walked from our village, to Madrigal Avenue, to Alabang Town Center, until I get tired and my tummy complained. And so I rest for a while and have my first meal for the day.. Contacted some people to hang out with but, what do I expect? It’s Christmas Day! Am I nuts? Of course they’re with their families, celebrating Christmas! Lucky for them, Too bad for me! But one text message put a smile on my face. I just hope I won’t see those people who have seen me like I am not in my right mind. Well, I just closed a deal! Haha!!

I continued walking. I don’t know, there’s a sense of relief when I get to walk and just observe people passing by, and eavesdrop on them. As one blogger like me said, which I often experience as well, there’s a story created in my mind when I get the chance to observe people and places. It’s actually a gratifying experience when I am immersed in that situation.

Anyway, as I approached our home and about to end walking, I heard raindrops fell on our neighbor’s rooftop! Gee! I was just right on time!

Un-Merry Christmas!

Alright! I must admit, KJ na kung KJ! Wala ng emosyon kung walang emosyon! But I just can't feel the Christmas spirit! Yes I do attend and sometimes organize Christmas parties, and I do greet some close friends, but honestly, Christmas is just an ordinary day for me.

Siguro nga tumatanda na ko.. Pero sa totoo lang, I want to go out at gumimik right now and tomorrow, but I can't. Sobrang pa-good shot muna ko ngayon. If you want to know how much I spent for clothes a few weeks ago, baka masampal mo ko! haha!! Although I used credit card, kakahiya talaga kasi di naman ako magbayad nun! Hehe!

I really tried to be merry this Christmas. But you really can't force your emotions. It's hard pa naman for me to pretend that I am happy, though I try to look happy sometimes. But at the end of the day, when you are all alone in your room, and there's nothing to watch on tv, no one's there to talk to on yahoo messenger, every good website you know have been visited and all you can do is hit the sack and turn the lights off.. Tadan! All the lonely thoughts come in, which so damn depressing! It kills me! Anyway ayoko ng madrama! Lalo na if I'm alone! I might slash of my wrists! Joke! haha! Of course I won't masakit! hehe!!

So it's Christmas day today.. Ito na siguro yung pinaka-walang emosyong Christmas ko. I've been to a lot of failures this year. Failure not only academically, but failure in my relationships, with friends, family and to those who have been romantically involved with me. Well ganun talaga, I can't have it all. But I know there are a lot of things to be happy about. New friends, New hopes, New realizations, and old friends who are still there for you.. Pero kokontra pa din ako, basta I don't feel it's Christmas!! Grinch na kung Grinch!! haha!!

At least, I get to spend another Christmas, and it only means I still have a chance to get a good one next year!

So long.. I just felt the need to write something..

P.S. I miss a lot of people.. Those people I get to spend Christmas in the past.. I just hope they're happy.. kahit sila na lang.. :(

On quitting...

My emotions do not make sense anymore. Grrr!! I hate to think that it's because, the major disappointment that everyone felt when our unofficial grades were released last week in WILLS, is actually sinking now. Well, Im not quite sure about it. What I am only certain is that the drive I have before the semester started, is slowly fading away. Except for WILLS, a lot of unexpected events totally destroyed my momentum. I'm talking about my relationships in and out of school. For the past few days, I've been thinking of quitting again.. I've been thinking of just escaping.. I know for myself that I have the ability to confront everything or everyone. Now, I'm hating myself because I just can't do it..

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As of tonight, I am still in doubt of someone.. I always wanted to talk yet I feel that this person doesn't want to. All along I thought that everything's fine, but actions speak louder than words. It's the problem with the culture we have. A culture which doesn't like confrontations.. I'm pissed because I cannot be myself. I should watch my words and just try not to offend or cause some misunderstanding.

It's cool to have so many friends.. Yet it's hard to maintain a friendship, for things would just get in limbo without you knowing it..

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Someone very close to me left me without even giving a warning.. I know, it's a choice that this person has to make and I respect that decision. But this person cannot even stand his/her ground. And being someone dear to me, I am torn. I don't know what to do. Grrrr!!! I am hyperventilating right now...

I want to help this person, yet I don't have the courage to do it. I don't even have the resources. And how can someone help one who don't even know what to do with his life?..

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I feel like quitting.. I feel like sacrificing my most cherished dream, just to give way.. I know I'm almost there, but with the turn of events, maybe it's time to leave, in the meantime..

BRING BACK MY SANITY!

Confusion strikes back again. I feel like I need a shift in my life right now. I just don't know what's happening to me again. Sometimes I feel like I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to talk.

In one of those stressful nights I just had, I thought of leaving all the things behind. Go to a place where no one knows me. A place where I can meet new people. People who, unlike me, have a lot of hang-ups. People, who can be satisfied with their lives..

I hope someone would help me bring back my sanity..